Subdued Intrinsic

Personal Note: In honor of Sesame Street's 40th birthday yesterday, a confession: At somepoint in my early childhood I had a nightmare about Sherlock Hemlock. I've never been able to look at him the same. I absolutely adore the rest of the characters (although Elmo's referring to himself in third person drives me nutes), but Detective Hemlock is persona non grata with me.

I live on the Gulf coast, and as you may have heard, Hurricane/Tropical Storm Ida stopped by my house yesterday. Don't freak; she was just a little storm. compared to Ivan five years ago, who was a Cat 3 hurricane when it decided to use our coastline as a bar stool.

Ivan was trouble, but Ida's just been a nuisance, mostly keeping me from getting finished quite a few things I wanted to have done by Monday. Such as fine-combing the Silver manuscript another time before sending it off to someone who asked to read the whole thing, or keeping up the blogging. If I'd gotten those things finished yesterday, as I'd liked to have, today I could get back into writing Silver's sequel, Golden. More and more about it is coming to me, and I'd love to explore that potential. I've got so much about Ian, and Sebastien, and Joss, plus everyone else, finally bubbling up in my head again.

Should I Scarlet this post and say tomorrow is another day? For this one, I've got a headache.

Personal Note: My pillow is at least 26 years old. So is my teddy-cat, Charmkin. No, I do not want to hear about the dust mites. Spare me.

Ten at-one-time high-profile writers are sent to a retreat in the backwoods of some mid-western state. To help instill a sense of community within the group of story-tellers the well-meaning, too smiley organizer puts up a huge dry-erase board and encourages the group to write a Next Line story*

The writers draw numbers out of a hat to determine the order in which they'll add to the story. The line-up turns out like this:

1. Kanye West**
2. Stephen King
3. Jude Devereaux
4. Robert Jordan
5. Stephenie Meyer

And the story begins thusly:

"I'ma let you get back your writing but I wan't y'all to recognize my book is better than all y'all's...but only 'cause Beyonce didn't put one out yet. [Kanye leaves the room]

What the hell? Who let that guy have the marker? For God's sake, give me that thing. [Mr. King puts a big X through Kanye's lines]

The story begins (again) thusly:

He hated the birds. Their small, glassy eyes reflected his image back at him, backward and upside down. Somehow the picture looked more like him than the real thing. [Mr. King stops and passes the marker to Ms. Devereaux]

[Ms. Devereaux smiles mischievously at Mr. King and squeezes an 's' before the 'h' in the opening "He". She changes all the pronouns into the feminine form] The story continues thusly:

SHe hated the birds. Their small, glassy eyes reflected her image back at her, backward and upside down. Somehow the picture looked more like her than the real thing. Only fatter, because Jen spent too much time running to be that pudgy. The only things her sleek body ate with enthusiasm were miles, all the better to attract the eyes of the muscle-dripping men who ran alongside her.

[Ms. Devereaux stops writing and offers the marker to Mr. Jordan, who chews on the end of it while he studies the board. Finally he picks up the story, which continues thusly:]

SHe hated the birds. Their small, glassy eyes reflected her image back at her, backward and upside down. Somehow the picture looked more like her than the real thing. Only fatter, because Jen spent too much time running to be that pudgy. The only things her sleek body ate with enthusiasm were miles, all the better to attract the eyes of the muscle-dripping men who ran alongside her. Jeniver Corliss needed the brutes to notice her. The diversion wouldn't work if she didn't capture their attention entirely, letting them snap at her elf-quick heels, just out of reach. She couldn't let their minds ponder when the druid priest, Rolf, had disappeared from her flank.

[Mr. Jordan thinks for a bit, then adds in some more punctuation before wiping the marker down with his shirt and waving it in the direction of Ms. Meyer. Ms. Meyer, however, declines. "I brought my own!", she perks, and pulls out a sparkly blue marker from her purse. The glittery ink looks very bright next to the black of the previous lines.]

SHe hated the Birds, their small glassy eyes reflecting her image back at her, backward and upside down, only fatter, because Jen spent too much time running to be that pudgy. The only things her sleek body ate with enthusiasm were miles, all the better to attract the eyes if the muscle-dripping men running alongside her because Jeniver Corliss needed the brutes to notice her (the diversion wouldn't work if she didn't capture their attention entirely, letting them snap at her elf-quick heels, just out of their reach). She couldn't let their minds ponder when the druid priest, Rolf, had disappeared from her flank. Jen wouldn't let him down, not when his last words to her before he'd snuck down the alternate path had been professions of love.

"Don't be afraid, Jeniver," he'd whispered in her ear, keeping up with her easily. "I won't let anything happen to you, I don't care what others think about us. I'm here for you forever." And then he'd left, into the thick, dewy undergrowth of the wet forest.

[Ms. Meyer sits down on her little log seat, smiling, pleased. Mr. King scowls, looking like he might begin cursing again. Ms. Devereaux offers Mr. Jordan a mint to suck on.]

[There's a disturbance outside, a rackety slap of something against the door. The knob shivers and then tears out of the wood. A large Great Wit*** humps its way to the board. It snorts, a bubbly, snorkly sound, and uses a fin to grip the marker, proceeding to make comments.

"This doesn't give me a reason to care." "Too much description about characters, not enough plot." "Where's the conflict?" "Bless my flippers, ALIENS IN CHAPTER FOURTEEN!"

Finally the shark circles the entire story and notates, "Form Rejection", before taking a bite out of one corner of the board.

1. Disclaimer: I love every one of these writers, and have at least one of each's book in my collection. I wouldn't "pick on" them if I didn't.

*Where each person writes one or two lines, then must let someone else have a go. Usually the previous writer folds down the paper so only his line can be seen, making the next person have base her writing on only a sentence of so.

**Kanye stole his spot from Dan Brown, and since technically Kanye's written a book, they let him stay.

***Cousin of the Great White shark, only snarkier.

Personal Notes: I would rather have a kid who yelled and argued than one who whined any day. My middle son is the one who seems to think nothing is fair if he doesn't get his way exactly how he wants it, on his own time schedule.

He, um, kind of got that from me. Existentially, I'm very bossy.

I got the letter yesterday, the one telling me, despite the agent really liking my work, and thinking I'm a "wonderful writer", she couldn't offer to represent Silver. It gave a whole new meaning to the term 'paper cut'. I don't want any of my awesome betas or ladies getting angry with her, because the agent was really amazing about it. Really, really. But I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt, if I made you think I've brushed myself off and forgotten it. I haven't. I still want to cry. All the fore-knowledge and scary publishing statistics in the world can't immunize you to the pain of coming so close and missing. The part I found the most perplexing was being told a few parts of the novel sounded too young, or too immature. After everyone kept telling me the opposite.

I need to fall back in love with this book, because I have lost my faith in it a little. The rejection brought doubt with it. Of course it did. That is part of the nature of rejection. "No" is negative, after all. Anyway, I need to have myself a good sit down and remind myself why I want what I want for this book, all the wonderful reasons outside of myself to get it out there. Things like loving the characters, and loving my readers, and loving how the book brings me closer to them, giving me the oppotunity to pass on what I learned during the chaos of my own teendom, and how I intend to donate to so many causes from sales. I need bigger reasons than fame, and material gain to put myself out there again.

But just so you know I'm still human, there is definitely a part of me going, "WHAT THE HADES?!?"

I don't have a cell phone. This isn't some high-minded tech-cist philosphical choice, though. I've just not needed a cell, save for the year 2004 when my husband was in Iraq, and I wanted the minor additional "there-ness" a cell afforded me. Now, however, I'm getting busier and busier, getting closer to a point where one makes sense . . . and I'm the kind of girl who'd rather not have a toy unless she gets just the one she wants. So! I'm saving up for a LG EnV3 in maroon, because, Heaven help me, I think that little clamshell beauty is awesome.

What else do I love? Yep, Bill Nye, the Science Guy.

Things to Remember:

1. Just because someone tells you "no" does not mean they no longer like/love you.
2. God knows what He's doing. Shut up and wait for Him to clue you in.
3. 5 out of 20 or so is actually a nice amount, around one-fourth.
4. The Red Hot Chili Peppers where not thinking of the debut author submission process when they wrote that song, but you don't mind.

Last night I got some pretty encouraging news. Today I got some slightly discouraging news. Considering writing is a labor of love (after all, Walter Wellesley said, "There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein."), the RHCP song title fits. In the last 24 hours I've been both up and down.

Usually, I hate heights, but I was getting kind of attached to last night's. I had multiple 'industry people' saying, "Hey, I like the idea of that," and that, my friends and foes, felt really good. It was like someone whispering in my ear, "This could really happen! You've got an heir and a spare!" I had options. I had a little cushiony space, in case of emergencies. And I like those cushions! One was hilarious and light, and would've made for a really good pillow fight, I bet. The other seemed to be more job-oriented, there to get that cushioning done, or else, and that was good too. That one was the kind of pillow who was going to dive-bomb the floor, getting there before me if I fell off the couch (trust me, I can fall off a couch without assistance).

I lost my squishy cushion today. My possible pillow-fight buddy decided she wasn't quite right for my sofa. I am bummed. I don't hold it against her--not at all. I know how this works. She didn't decline my couch because she suddenly didn't think I was a cool enough girl. It was the couch she wasn't quite sure about. I guess the point is, knowing and feeling that are two totally different things.

My up is a down, even if I have that other cushion. I don't know anything personal about, though. I know my lost cushion was funny (she had the best joke embroidered in one corner). I know she was upbeat. I know I would have really, really enjoyed sharing the couch with her. That's why I'm bummed. This new cushion isn't a sure bet by any means, but I have no idea if I'll connect on a personal level with it, which is something I want to consider, in the event it wants its own little dent in the seat of my sofa.

I need some corners, maybe some applique.

Personal Note: I write really hard, by which I mean I'm probably much harder on writing utensils than I need to be. My penmanship has this sort of thick-handed girly grace that looks like the overweight cousin of my mother's handwriting. See below.

Now, onto the subject matter, in a majorly biased sort of way.

As with any other person who enjoys reading, I'm all for fantastic setting, rich world-building, and plots that just won't stop being awesome. That being said, if I don't think you did your characters justice I probably won't like your book, no matter the elevation of its higher points. If you've read my work you could probably have guessed that about me, as I write from a very character-driven viewpoint. I'm sure it doesn't help my lack of objectivity that I also believe getting your characters right has a domino effect for all the other aspects of your book. My opinions are cannibalistic; they feed on themselves like that.

So what are some things you can do to make sure you stay true to your people? Obviously any advice I can give comes from my own research and personal experience, but I'll take a shot anyway.

• It's basic, and for those of us who weren't blessed with a natural abundance of patience or traditional organizational skills, writing a fully-fleshed-out character biography kind of sounds like cleaning your room, but wow, does it actually do some good. I hate writing summaries and bios and outlines. My level of hatred for these things is right up there with cockroaches and making check-up appointments. I fight with myself constantly about that kind of stuff, but in the end I finally give in to the pressure of my literary conscience and do the freakin' things. Sometimes it's purely an exercise in making factoids easier to locate and sometimes it's a real eye-opener because suddenly motives and events stare back at you from those pages, screaming about themselves to make sure you get it right.
  
• Decide from the get-go what kind of person the character is. What are the most important things to this person? Not his motorcycle or that she's constantly craving strawberries; those are quirks, little things that round your character out. Does honor matter most? Greed? What hurts them the most? Being alone even in a crowd? Examine your character's core motivations and build from there. A person who feels as if he's the only one of his kind isn't going to be a social butterfly. The people who make socializing their main goal in life are the ones who feel too ordinary and hate it. If you can pin down the WHY of your character it will be much easier to write believable WHAT's for him or her (what she does, what she says, what she thinks) and it will certainly be easier to stay committed to WHO your character really is.
  
• Back to those quirks. Even thousands of years ago the Biblical-proclaimed wisest man on the earth, King Solomon basically said the King James version of 'there's nothing new under the sun' and the same still holds true. All the big, basic storylines and characters have already been written. What you start out with is a big, bland cardboard cut-out, a literary paper-doll, and you have to decide what sort of personality outfit goes on him or her. This is where you tread the dreaded line of Mary-Sue-ism. Make your character too perfect or too imperfect (with no redeeming, sympathetic qualities) and you've got a really bad case of BLAH! Nobody really likes perfect because perfect is unattainable and unrealistic. So, give your characters faults, fears, a few traits specific to them. Color that freakin' cut-out up, kids! Personally, I'm a big fan of paisley. *grin*
  
• But back up! You can't go too far in the "Unique!" direction, either, because then you end up with more than one character in a single body, which really only works in a very small sliver of circumstances (such as body-snatching or schizophrenia, in which case, hey, have a ball). Always apply the "Who am I?" test to each conversation. Are you making your character say something, maybe because you really want to get a point across and are afraid your audience might lose it in the shuffle? Would your character really fidget that way while nervous, or are you amping that up when it's not really called for?
  
• And last but not least, remember that everyone morphs and grows. In Silver I always thought TRISTAN had the wicked temper, but I'm learning it's actually his brother, SEBASTIEN. In the beginning I considered JOSS too weak and broken to stand up for herself, but she's surprised me; turns out she's stronger than everybody else and plays the most significant part in the ensemble cast making it out of a certain situation alive, and even better, while everyone else underestimated her (including me), she never underestimated herself. So, while the balance is difficult, you can't hold your characters back. The trick is learning everything about them beforehand so you know just when and where they'll grow.

So, there's that. Sorry about the long, long silence, but I had some inner demons to deal with. And some outer kindergarten T-ball games.

Personal Note: I played flute for six years in school and then stopped abruptly. I don't even remember the key positions anymore and it saddens me.

The most painful, hard-to-follow advice I've been given since starting a novel has been more or less along the lines of "Don't rush! Don't submit anything until you have made your book the best that can be." My 'advisers' know their stuff, either because they're already pros, or they've been around this particular block quite a few times and know where all the open manholes offer you a one-way trip into the sewer, but I am an incredibly impatient person. The waiting may kill me and if it does, you're all invited to my funeral.

Just in the last twenty-four hours agent Rachelle Gardner wrote a post about the practice of patience. Some parts of it lifted my spirits (Hey, everyone else's just like me, too!), and other made me feel as if eventual success is just another hopeless daydream.

This second part has much to do with the genre of book I write, paranormal YA. Yes, with series like the Twilight saga, those of Melissa Marr, Holly Black, and Libba Bray--all with supernatural themes--supernatural/paranormal YA is HOT, HOT, HOT right now. But the catch is the 'right now' bit. 'Right now' doesn't mean next year or the year after, and the book publishers and agents of today are looking for the reading trends of tomorrow because, guess what? Having a book accepted today doesn't mean it will show up on a shelf next week. I hear the average is closer to two years. So, theoretically, you've got to write two years in advance. What's going to be the 'in' thing for 2011?

You can read trend projections, which could be wrong, and then work on a manuscript with them in mind, or you can keep working on your current baby and hope it makes it out of the hospital okay. You have to ask yourself why you write what you write. Did you begin this project hoping to be published (Rachelle also has a good blog post on that one, if you're willing to dig a bit through the archives), and if so, how much of your writing is contingent on accomplishing that goal? Love the book more, or the idea of publication?

For the first, the answer is simple, and grueling. Work your tookus off until the manuscript shines even in the darkest times of its genre. For the second, the answer's the same, because let's face it, once everyone else knows what's going to sell they'll jump on the bandwagon, too.

Personal Tidbit: You can get my favorite socks here. They are massive amounts of rainbowy-striped goodness.

Guys, right now the likelihood of breaking into the writing biz looks bleak. Not only is the recession forcing everyone from publishers and huge retail book chains to literary agencies of all sizes into scaling down but now it seems all those other people--the ones who've never tried writing before--are getting laid off, and a lot of them decided, "Hey, I can add to my income and use this extra time to write that book like I always wanted."

It's difficult not to resent these people because they're stacking the already-insane odds even higher against 'real' writers (what makes someone a real writer as opposed to a delusional one is an existential debate for another day). Agents' slushpiles are growing by leaps and bounds, making it harder for them to find the diamonds in the rough. It's also irritating because the message seems to be, "writing is so easy a laid-off cave man can do it", which is insulting to people who consider writing the main career calling in their lives.

When I heard about this the mental image of a factory amidst a union strike came into my mind, and those 'new writers' were the replacement workers--the 'scabs', if you will--breaking through the picket lines. Only of course we of the original workforce, the ones who have always been doing this job, aren't on strike. We're just being struck.

So, the new challenge is seeing around the ungracious feelings and in finding something that gives you hope regardless of the current standing of the book business.

Here's to your success!

Personal Note: I really hope I'm missing something in Kelly Clarkson's new song, "My Life Would Suck Without You", because if not, WHAT A HORRIBLE MESSAGE!!! Girls, your lives will totally NOT SUCK without a boy, I don't care how awesome he is.

Whew! Now that's out of my system, to the point of this blog post. The chances are good that if you're reading this you've never actually met me which might make it more difficult to believe that I am NOT a nice person. Trust me on this one, I'm not. I'm selfish and lazy, and a lot of other completely horrible things. Socially awkward, impatient, judgemental, insecure, and sarcastic (maybe that one's not sooo bad) to name a few.

But I do have a great deal of this little thing called 'respect for others' and it goes a long way to make it seem like I'm a nice person. So let's talk about manners and respect as they pertain to the soul-eating steps of breaking into the writing business.

First off, remember how when you were a kid, a student, and you saw your teacher outside the confines of your school. If you're still a student, even better; you're more fresh for this analogy. So weird! Your teacher--for all intents and purposes--seemed to be an actual human, and stranger still, a human with at least something of a life. You couldn't quite put the two entities, your teacher and the person before you, together. Now, take that 'alternate reality' feeling and apply it to your concept of 'Literary Agent'. Yeah, somewhere on the other side of that inbox you just mailed a query to there is an actual human with a life outside of office hours. You didn't mail your query to a program. You mailed it to an individual with personal tastes, preferences, and dislikes. Be mindful of that. When you query an agent take the time to research him or him. Not only does it clear you of a major hurdle (not following submission guidelines=instant rejection) but it helps you better understand the fit you might have with the agent. Plus a little initiative is bound to go a long way. If you think of them as human they are more likely to do the same with you

Secondly, I am quickly learning that this business is no different than many others in that it is absolutely flooded with resources such as 'how to's' and insider info (the kind that might get you published, not arrested). But one of the biggies is 'connectivity'. Simply put, who you know, or even better who knows you. You've got to get your name out there, in the business public's eye. Facebook, Twitter, Blogs, all fantastic. But you can't virtually gang-bang them. There's an etiquette. Don't cyber-stalk an agent to the point he or she is considering a restraining order. Don't get up in faces. Don't be clingy. Remember, these are people who are spending their time and energy to get a job done well and what time you take from them better be worthwhile and contribute something of value, otherwise you will get a reputation as 'best avoided'.

And last but not least, if you wouldn't use that kind of language with your mother, don't use it with a potential connection. The agent will appreciate it, and your Mama will be proud of you.

I've followed a few agents on Twitter for a few weeks now and I have to say, just those tiny, 140 character glimpses into their jobs have made me much more sympathetic to what they go through in a day. As a writer, I understand how a rejected book proposal feels from this side of the monitor, how it feels impersonal, invalidating, and other nasty things. And I knew--somewhere in the back of my mind, behind a dusty window--that agents had to slog through a pile of unusable projects, hoping to find one with the right fit, but it hadn't really hit me.

Wow, people. Just wow. The other day I watched as three agents actually had a race to see who could get through the emails in her inbox the quickest . . . two were still up at two A.M., and the other one was crowing with joy that her number was under fifty. Because that was something she hadn't seen in forever.

On another occasion one of the chronicled the last fifteen or so, whether she rejected or asked for more, and why. Two thirds of the submissions hadn't even tried to follow the clearly listed requirements for proposals to this agent. That really surprised me; if you're asking this person to take a chance on you I'd expect you to research that person as much as possible and follow any guidance to a T. It's COMMON SENSE, people.

And last, another agent, who seems very, very personable, rejected a manuscript proposal only to have the rejectee write back to her with a nasty insult, I assume because that person is a childish brat and can't be bothered to react in a more mature fashion.

So, when I get back to sending out novel submissions you can bet I'll be doing it with a whole added perspective, one of sincere respect for the person who is willing to put him or herself out there like that.

Seriously kids, learn from this.